Some people say that love is a state of mind. But love is a both physical and emotional same with pain. Love requires pain, you cannot love if you cannot feel pain. How much pain is love meant to cause? People are always happy in love the first few weeks or months , the more love you give the more pain you are liable to. But we all know that we are prone to pain when we are in love. Loving someone is the same thing as telling a person to take advantage of you. They have a choice but they also have the power to crush you or to uplift you….
Is this pain the reason why we love? Is there some sort of attraction to the pain that makes us love? Many times I’ve been through pain but never learnt a lesson. I’ve cried I’ve wept I’ve reached many levels of depression but I always come back to the pain. Is this a level of stupidity or just a simple form of self-deceit. Telling myself everything will be fine when it will not, not letting go because a part of me still believes there is hope. Or is it fear? Fear of being alone, fear of not having the familiarity that I was once used to? Fear or being mocked fear of the dreaded “I told you so”. Because fear is what hinders me. Like a little kid being abused, I believe in any form of love. No matter how long it lasts I cling on to it and hope it’s never taken away. But hope isn’t enough because it goes. And all that’s left is emptiness. A heart which is deeper than a void full of darkness and sorrow. Lusting and longing for something else to live for. Vulnerable and alone withdrawing from everything around because there is nothing left to produce that happiness. What is happiness? Its a state of mind that never lasts. Happiness is what is achieved when everything seems to be going right which is momentary because nothing good lasts long enough. You wait long enough for something and when it happens you’re happy. Joy only comes when that thing stays a part of ur life. Here I am again, Girl 18 Feeling Stuck
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