MY FIRST POEM

My first poem was a letter to God, asking Her to save me. Aged 14 with a pen and paper. I willed my words to come alive. Not knowing what the outcome would be, but I was sure I was tired. Fed up. There was no way I would return to this. Continue reading

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ESHAN SPEAKS: OLD FRIENDSHIPS, NEW BEGINNINGS

I always think of friendships as something I never needed, I’ve felt alone for so long why would I need anybody else? Companionship, laughter, happiness, these are the things that mask the imperfections within my friendships.

Many self-evaluations later, I’m learning the art of letting go.

When you sacrifice so much of yourself for the benefit of someone else, soon there’ll be nothing left but the emptiness of who you used to be. Consumed by the need to save people, surely I can’t leave now. Continue reading

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ESHAN SPEAKS: IDENTITY CRISIS

 

Who am I? The one question that constantly haunts me. I often find myself in deep thought asking myself questions I have not yet figured out the answers to. Why am I here? What am I supposed to do? Since my childhood, I have never felt like I really belonged anywhere. I’ve never thought myself to be a part of something, not a member of a group, not a participant in a movement. Nothing has ever impacted myself enough for me to want it to stay. I realise this is the reason I am so quick to dismiss people and friendships. Continue reading

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LOVE FOR A COLOURED GIRL

Caramel, the colour of my skin. Hips full, lips plump. The way my skin glows in the sun like the reflection of a pure soul. My brown eyes become mesmerising in the sunlight. The beads sitting on my waist that sway to the confidence of my heart beat. Beads representing the culture my ancestors had before me. With a smile like a bright-eyed child, I can brighten your day. The smoothness of my back causes a stir in the depths of your soul. Continue reading

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ESHAN SPEAKS: LIVE NOT JUST BE ALIVE

When most people say things they wish their younger selves knew they talk about relationships, both platonic and otherwise. They talk about experiences and family. I have one message for my younger self, and that is LIVE, not just be alive. Everyone has tried to kill you with their words and their actions, you’re in a constant battle struggling to stay alive. Brick by brick I built this wall around myself, afraid to let anyone in. Continue reading

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A LITTLE ABOUT ME

What is my name?

My name is Eshan or Nae

Where am I from?

I’m originally  Nigerian currently living in England.

How old am I?

I’m 24 (even though I feel much older lol) Continue reading

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ESHAN SPEAKS: 3 THINGS I WISH WOMEN WOULD STOP DOING.

I’m all for independence and women having the ability to do whatever they want, but there are some things I would like women to collective stop doing.

STOP THE COMPETITION

  • Stop competing with each other. We’ve all heard “united we stand, divided we fall”, so why do we keep competing with each other? I am a huge supporter of female success, when I see a fellow woman especially one like me making a name for herself. Continue reading
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GIRL 18: PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

Pursuit Of Happiness I believe I understand what it is to be lonely. To have no one besides yourself. I believe loneliness is a chance to be one with yourself to find who you really are. Loneliness opens your ears to the sound of your own heartbeat gives you an opportunity to comes to terms with the pain you feel within. Continue reading

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GIRL 17: LOOKING FOR LOVE

Sometimes I wish I was alone in this world. Never caring or feeling for anyone. Just to be free on my own. Or maybe even stuck in darkness suffering from the pain that comes from within. Yearning for a friend. Waiting patiently for love to set me free. Sometimes I wish I was invisible moving around people effortlessly like the wind. Uncovering many untold secrets whispering silently into the ears of the unsuspected…..

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GIRL 18: STUCK

Some people say that love is a state of mind. But love is a both physical and emotional same with pain. Love requires pain, you cannot love if you cannot feel pain. How much pain is love meant to cause? People are always happy in love the first few weeks or months , the more love you give the more pain you are liable to. But we all know that we are prone to pain when we are in love. Loving someone is the same thing as telling a person to take advantage of you. They have a choice but they also have the power to crush you or to uplift you….

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